Welcome to a new monthly series on the blog! I’ll be offering some quick tips for each astrological season, geared at neurodivergent folks and written from my own perspective as an AuDHD astrologer and neuroemergence guide. These are some recommended focuses to work with the energy of the season, not a to-do list or something to feel guilty about if you don’t get to it. Take what feels right for you and release what doesn’t!
When I say “season” here, I’m talking primarily about the time the sun spends in a sign, shining a spotlight on the sign’s energy. At the same time or close to it, Mercury and Venus will pass through the sign, and a New Moon also occurs in that sign, so its energy is amplified. But you can expect these seasons to also be flavored by the positions of other planets in the sky and in your chart, so they don’t feel the same to everyone or happen in the same way every year.
I’m starting this series with Cancer season—the season of the summer solstice in the Northern hemisphere, as well as my own rising sign, and the rising sign of the thema mundi. The thema mundi is a teaching tool used by Hellenistic astrologers, known as the “birth chart of the world.”
As I understand it, this tool is linked to the Egyptian calendar, which started with the Heliacal rising of Sirius at 15 degrees of Cancer, around the time when the Nile floods each year. While I’m always a teeny bit skeptical of any claims to ancient Egyptian roots (see Alice Sparkly Kat’s Post-Colonial Astrology for a thorough treatment of that topic!) this chart holds a special place in my heart because my own rising is at 12 degrees of Cancer, and my moon at 14.
Cancer is a sign associated with nurturing and care, but also with emotional protection and sensitivity. As the cardinal water sign, Cancer is where emotions well up, but also where we seed our sense of emotional safety and security, and look to establish emotional comfort. Cancer is associated with the family as a source of emotional safety and with the home as a place to retreat and receive care. (Whether or not home and family actually have those associations for you personally, of course, is highly individual.)
When I think of Cancer in the context of neurodivergence, I think about how important it is for neurodivergent folks to find a safe zone for retreat. The good news is that emotional safety and security doesn’t require you to understand your emotions, or to name them, as many neurodivergent folks struggle to do. I find it personally helpful to remember that emotions are actually signals from the body—while we’re often encouraged to explain our emotions (”why are you sad?”) the emotion itself is actually a purely physical experience in reaction to some catalyst.
That catalyst might be external or internal, and once the emotion is experienced, processing it physically is often the most supportive next step. That might look like stimming with your voice or body, or perhaps finding a more supportive physical environment.
As a neurodivergent person, I don’t always know why I’m upset, or why I’m calm. I actually used to think I had a pretty good grip on this, and I realized over time that I’m often totally wrong about the source of my emotions! For example, part of my autistic experience is that sensory overstimulation can be pretty emotionally dysregulating for me, while understimulation tends to make my ADHD brain bounce off the walls.
One of the things that really helped me to find emotional equilibrium was understanding that working through the story of my emotions or trying to power through them often doesn’t work, but sometimes a sensory solution does.
That might be wrapping up in a blanket, putting on specific music or removing auditory input entirely, stroking something with a pleasing texture, or turning out the lights. I might need to use my body or my voice, or co-regulate with nature by sitting outside on my own for a bit. I don’t always feel like I’m having a sensory problem, but when I work my way through a list of sensory soothers, often I feel sudden relief when I find the right one.
Another important Cancerian tip is to find your chosen family—who is capable of supporting your unique emotional needs, regardless of their specific relationship to you? Who understands or at least is open to learning about your neurodivergence? Who feels emotionally safe because you can share your special interests around them, have fluctutating moods, or not be able to communicate sometimes?
Personally, I’m often most comfortable with other neurodivergent people, and especially other AuDHD people, because we either have similar specific needs or can just understand having sensory and communication needs, rather than assuming a normative environment will be fine. The practice of sharing needs openly and doing our best to collaboratively meet them, or acknowledge when that’s not possible, normalizes asking for what we need rather than just assuming there’s no point, and allows for a level of relationship that feels more authentic and comfortable. It also reduces shame around my needs and soothes my rejection sensitive dysphoria, which flares up when I’m told that my needs are unreasonable or I need to just get over it.
This Cancer season, you might want to consider the following practices:
- Make a rescue list of practices to turn to when you’re feeling overstimulated or understimulated.
- Create a “recovery corner” in your physical space where you can go when you feel emotionally overwhelmed or just in need of nurturing, and fill it with things that feel good and grounding to you such as soft items, a reminder to put on your soothing playlist, cool blue lights, etc. This could also be an outdoor area where you can comfortably recover in nature, perhaps with a favorite tree or access to the sound of running water.
- Is there a sensory support item you’ve been meaning to check out? If you’re financially able, treat yourself to a stim toy, weighted blanket, white noise machine, sensory swing, or something else you’ve had your eye on. Remember that sensory support is highly personal and necessary, not just a luxury item! You’re allowed to prioritize things that bring you joy and a sense of calm.
- Practice processing emotions physically, rather than trying to figure out the story of why you’re feeling them. Ask where you’re feeling an emotion in your body and try movement or breathing into that area of the body. It’s okay if you can’t name the emotion—you can still work with it! If you find a physical processing method that works well, add it to your rescue list!
- What fills your cups and makes you feel nurtured and taken care of? Make a list of people, activities, and actions that feel like “care” to you. Can you access any of those right now?
- Who do you consider chosen family? Consider who feels most emotionally safe to you, with no shame needed around folks who “should” make the cut but don’t. Can you spend more time with some of these folks? Can you reduce your exposure to folks who feel emotionally unsafe, or limit your exposure to times when you feel more resourced? (You also may find this Care Pod Mapping Worksheet helpful, courtesy of fantastic disability justice advocate Mia Mingus).
- Are there ways in which you’re caring for others without receiving care in return (including masking to make folks more comfortable)? Where and how might you find more balance?
- If you’re not familiar with the Five Love Languages, look them up and consider: what are the languages through which you best receive care? What are the languages through which you feel comfortable giving care? If those aren’t the languages people in your life use, can you have a conversation about it?
Disclaimer: Any links to books are affiliate links that support both me and your local bookstore!
Looking for an astrology reading this Cancer season? I’d love to read for you, and I have several astrology reading options that are specifically designed for neurodivergent folks!